-- 1 Corinthians 11, The Message
In oranges and women, courage is often mistaken for insanity. -- Iron Jawed Angels
Put yourself on the top of the list of strong women you admire. -- Kaye
I woke up crazy tired yesterday and thought of just having a little bit of Bible study in my room -- just God and me. Then I thought about how much I just needed to be in worship and in His presence. So I went to a new church I'd visited once before ... still searching for somewhere to fit spiritually. Other than sitting behind this older lady, which I was super excited about because I love senior citizens, I sort of just zoned in and out. I came back in to the pastor's voice when I needed what he had to say. But there is always something special about being in the presence of God. He is my first love and I smiled, glowed even, to the things He was whispering to me.
I flipped to the back of my Bible and began to look up the verses in the index under the heading of "woman." Already feeling a bit numb spiritually as of late, I wasn't really excited about what I saw.
For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head ... Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered?" 1 Cor. 11: 6, 13
Many of the verses were similar, what women shouldn't do. Man is made for God's glory, woman made for man's glory. And then the list just stopped. I thought for sure a lot of them would get better in the New Testament but they didn't really. So I wrote down some things God was teaching me and then I thought, maybe things will be better in a different translation.
I worked really hard to find my footing and strength as a woman. It took many painful pieces to make me whole. I was raised, mentored and brought toward healing by strong women and I love them. I never again want to have to let go of my independence or strength for a man. Submissive to husband? Respectful. Obey, will be disappearing from my vows. But I love deeply and encourage wildly. I believe whole-heartedly in women leading. I understand the directions to women in the Bible in reference to the times when they were written. But what does God have to say for me now? How would He like for me to live as a strong woman? Where do I fit in this society?
I asked. He answered. How special I am to Him.
Then I thought of the women who were going to prepare Jesus' body after His death. In the Message translation it says these women were deep in wonder and full of joy after being told why Jesus was no longer in the tomb. Deep. Wonder. When He approached them they clung onto his feet (worship and adoration) and this is what they are told, You're holding on to me for dear life, don't be frightened like that. It made me think of how I never want to be totally dependent on anyone again, not a friend and not a man that I'm with. I always want to retain my wholeness, my independence. And here is Jesus who we are supposed to be dependent on, saying to these women don't be frightened enough to hold on to me for dear life. Don't cling to Him out of fear. Thank you Father, for loving my independence too.
Jesus came through a woman, who God deemed worthy. It was that same woman at the foot of the cross, when most of the men who followed Him were too afraid or had betrayed Him. There were women like Martha who provided for Him. Women who He respected enough, that they felt they could be vulnerable in front of Him. The woman with the blood disease that touched Him and was healed; She had been marked dirty. The woman at the well, who He looked in the eye and talked to -- not down to. Women that He protected like the woman who was to be stoned to death for adultery. Prostitutes He saw as worthy to be loved, despite any shame they might hold. Esther -- He used her life "at such a time as this." The children He told His disciples to allow to come to Him, that He used as an example of what Faith should look like -- birthed and raised by women.
Yesterday, I heard the pastor as he told the church that so often The Fall is blamed on Eve, but he said it was Adam that failed to protect her. I am in love with a God who is in love with me. He gave me the Truth of my identity, He loves my strength, and I will never cover my head.
*** I read this book once after a really bad heart break. At a time, when I was ashamed of compromising myself as a woman. Just thought I would share.
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