Friday, June 18, 2010

Day Thirty-Three



Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10


As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered ... The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. James 5:11


God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame. -- Elizabeth Barett Browning


Today is the last day devotion I am writing before I leave for my workshop on the Cape this week. My beautiful and talented friend, Kendell will be writing the 365 Days of Devotion this week so that we don't miss a day. I am excited for this. I think after thirty-three days it would be a great blessing for another viewpoint, another voice to be heard. She has an amazing heart and I know that all of you will enjoy the things she has to share. I will be back a week from Saturday. So read, read, read. Share. And respond.

***
Dreams. Opportunities. Desires of the heart.
God has been so gracious to be the dreamer of my dreams. He takes the things I strive for, the things I dream of and delivers them in so much bigger and better packages. Not only that, but the things I learn from the way He dreams for me are priceless.
Tomorrow, incredibly early in the morning, I leave for another adventure. I get to spend the day with my fabulous friend Wendy in North Carolina, then fly into New England, catch a bus, be picked up from the bus stop by two amazing people, and sleep in a bed of a home that used to be a bookstore. Then I get to wake up by the ocean, meet new friends, learn amazing things from one of my favorite poets of all time, improve my writing, and have fun.
It has been ten months since I've walked in New England, a place I love so much. That time it was Vermont. God blew me away. I asked Him to go before me. Meet the people I would meet, walk where I would walk, see the beautiful things He would show. It was Amazing, amazing with a capital "A." A time I will never forget. With beautiful whispers from God, a river a began a love affair with, new friends I believe I will have for a lifetime, the opportunity to meet a poet whose writing I loved & hear great things from her, and to just be free.
I used to crave it, New England when I would move home. I felt that I was my most free there, the most creative. When I would come to Alabama I would miss the way that the air felt in my lungs. If I could just be there for five minutes to breathe it in, I would tell people. It is a magical place for me.
Because it is a place I dreamed of since middle school I think. I want to live in New England and be writer I would tell my friends. I could see the house I would have on a cliff over-looking the ocean. In my mind, I would see the sweater I would have wrapped around me as I explored the rocky beaches.
It was my dream. Every time I left, I feared I wouldn't be able to go back and still He delivers me there. It's a beautiful gift.
This time maybe even more special because for the first time after coming back, I've learned to be more free at home. To take in more of my moments and be here. Not always looking back to New England and a dream I walked in, not always looking forward to being back. I enjoyed school this semester. My play is being performed in the fall. I've spent renewed time with people I love here. I have someone special in my life enjoy seeing. I walk in gratitude at home as well.
A couple of times after coming home from New England, a friend of mine said to me -- maybe God is trying to teach you a lesson. If you can learn to be free at home, you know that Freedom is inside you and that way you feel in New England completely yourself, 100 percent free; it is with you know matter where you are. After that I would be opened-up to go wherever in this world I wanted to go and be who I wanted, be free, be creative. Anywhere.
That is the spirit I hope I am carrying with me to Cape Cod this week. 100 % who I am from the moment I step onto that plane until I return a week later. Relishing in this gift from a God that loves me so much.
Dreams are real.
Flying over New England before landing often feels like home to my soul.
But real home is within me.
And in that home there is Freedom.
That is my true present, that teaching from my God.
I will live in Gratitude of it.
And I will dive into poetry with a splash.
Swimming in words.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Amanda, your words meant so much to me today. First I'm so happy to hear about you going back to New England and visiting our beautiful friend Wendy along the way. I hope to visit her too this summer! I'm in Iowa now I just returned on the 24th and my daughter the 25th. I was very unhappy when I returned to Japan but I learned like you that freedom is within us. I had a wonderful time just "being" with my daughter when she returned, a renewal of motherly love and devotion to her and appreciation for having her in my life... LOVE is the answer.
I also have a dream of living by the ocean!!
I hope I can talk to you now that we are in the same time zone. I need to get a phone and internet connection. I have neither at my mother's house. Much love to you dear friend.

Josie

Amanda Gayle said...

I can't remember if I read this when you posted it, but it blessed me to read it today. Thank you.

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