The yes is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. Matthew 6:22
If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today. -- E. Joseph Cossman
Worry.
Obsessing.
I feel that I've been paying too much attention to the irrational fears and worry that are floating around my head. Today.
Today, I wake up not feeling quite like myself. Not empty but maybe quiet and then I start to worry. I start to think to much. To ruminate.
I'm worried about my energy level. Because of the fabulous dream, opportunity, trip that I've been waiting to come about for almost a year and will be walking into this weekend.
I'm worried about messing up an answered prayer, a relationship of blessing.
Briefly, coming to the surface in the line to worry about in the soon to near future. The job I don't even have yet, but need desperately when I get back.
A new venture with a magazine that might make me go back to a writing style that challenges me and to stepping out of the comfort zone. Which gets smaller, but still exists.
Do you notice the majority of the list? I'm worrying over blessings, dreams, opportunities and new directions that have been put into my life. What?
That's silly.
But most of my day today, has been spent worrying while being slightly productive.
If God chooses to bless my life, wouldn't it make immediate sense that he would provide for that blessing.
He's never steered me wrong before. Sometimes the most nervous I am about something, the more fabulous it turns out to be.
And I find strength in that.
What do I do when I worry after cycling the thoughts around and around in my head. Trying to convince myself of truth instead of the worry, guilt or just plain irrationality of it all? I want to confess it. Get it out of there. I want reassurance.
So often we as humans, love to find this in other humans. It's a tangibility things. We want to hear the words or have the hug.
But today I went to God. And will continue to, as many times as these worries cycle around.
I ask Him to go ahead of me. Meet the people I will meet, have conversations with them first, walk where I will walk ... figure out the airport.
I ask him to love the prayer He answered in my life and just help me to continue to nurture and be thankful for it.
I recognize that when things are going good or I am doing something beautiful for God, the worry is most likely going to follow. Somewhere. It can be short or last long. It's according to how long I'm willing to listen to it.
When I'm willing to talk about it with God.
I love the quote above that I found today. Who has ever remembered what they were worried about on a specific day -- two weeks ago, a month ago, a year? We remember the moments.
Worry doesn't make an impact.
It doesn't warm are hearts in remembrance on a rainy day.
It robs us of joy. It keeps us frozen. It quenches are spirit.
When we were meant for so much more.
Watch the worries pass, soak in the blessings.
Gifts don't come with cards that someone has filled with negativity, words to down us, or questions like -How are your really going to enjoy this? Sure you've unwrapped but now you just need to sit and think about all the bad stuff that could destroy it.
No!
God gives gifts in love.
No one gives worry with their love, my friends.
Joy. Joy. Joy.
We have to choose it every moment.
And walk in the confetti.
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